The triple Goddess and the three trimesters of pregnancy.

The triple Goddess and the three trimesters of pregnancy.

Note: This particular blog was written in December 2017, but only able to be posted in February 2018 as I went into premature labour.
However, the blog remains unchanged in order to not dilute from its original meaning to me and what I want to share with you now.

I have been fairly quiet of late.
 2017 has brought me many amazing blessings and each has well and truly kept me busy!
I found peace after much trauma and grief, began writing again, held a workshop at Pagancon (UK), made new friends, began the wonderful journey of home educating my eldest daughter, fell in love with my friend, and to top it all off, me and that friend are now a blissfully happy couple expecting our first Child together in the new calendar year!
However, despite all of the wonderful gifts and happy abundance this year, I must be truthful and say that it has not been all straight paths leading to joy.
This pregnancy has had many twists and turns in the form of health problems.
Debilitating hypermesis, symphysis pubic dysfunction, reduced mobility and bouts of reduced foetal movement.
Much of my second and now third trimester have been spent in the comfort of my home, as I have been unable to get about much.
Trying as this was at first, it was perhaps the time I needed in order to finally “Stop”, pause for breath and reflect.
It did, after all, at times feel as though the excitement of 2017 was running away with me.
By the thirtieth week of my pregnancy I began to stop resenting this very much “forced” rest and instead began to retreat within… to meditate, reflect and prepare for birth.
It was in this time that one early evening I found myself beginning to “Ride the hedge” -crossing the divide; the mists that subtly separate this realm and the others: a journey.
In this particular journey I saw the Goddess in her triple form- both beautiful and terrifying in the same instance.
At first I saw her as the maiden.
Young, slender and undefined in figure.
Cusping on the verge of womanhood.
Her hair free and wild, eyes wide and sparkling at the possibility of life.
Full of hope for the future.

Then the maiden turned and became the mother…
Full bellied, heavy breasted and hair neatly braided away from her face while her hands busily worked wool to form a circular item; perhaps a blanket for her unborn child.
This creative endeavour reminded me of the Norse Goddess Frigg. The All-Mother and wife of Odin, a Goddess who has been appearing in workings and sights for me a while now. Frigg is often associated with weaving and making, And although the mother Goddess form was not weaving in the manner most usually associated with Frigg (spinning wheels, the weaving of destiny and so on) The piece being made was circular in shape, which for me brought Frigg and the spinning wheel to mind.
The Mother’s face glowed with hope and happiness – her hair was of flaming red. Which in turn reminded me of another Goddess I work closely with, the Celtic Goddess Brigid.
Brigid, often seen as a patron to midwives, and ergo motherly, strongly resonated with me. This was not only due to my pregnant state, but because she held so much symbology that I could relate to both in my physical and spiritual life.

In my journey the Goddess in front of me turned once more and now became a Crone.
Her frail form stooped over with her grey and straggly hair once again loose.
A sense of Death surrounded her, but not only the death suffered by those of us afflicted by mortality.
there was also a sense of the death of old and worn ways, spent and done with ways and the coming of the new.
Fresh starts and rebirth.
The Crone’s face, was dark and grave. Serious, but not unkind.
There was something comforting about her, like an older nurse who knew her craft and could care for a soul in need.
The Crone’s air of caring reached out to me and took me by surprise somewhat. I was expecting the Crone’s association with Death to be a more negative connotation.
However, the words “Death Midwife” came to me (again, something of importance to me, as death Midwifery is something I have been looking to study).
This Crone Goddess is one that passes everyone from this life and guides them to the next phase.
Yet I also felt as though she strongly worked with the healthy living too: guiding them from one phase in their lives into another.
A phrase replayed in my mind “As one door closes another opens”.
And I was reminded then, that the Goddess in her Croneship guides us in life too. She Births us from our old selves into the new.
Was she about to midwife and escort me into my second time as a mother? 
Perhaps to oversee this new transition in my life?
It had, after all, been five years since my first child was born and my situation was now very different.
Everything from where I was living, to the wonderful partner I now had had changed.
In sight, I watched mesmerised and in awe as the lesson slowly unfolded for me, with the realisation as to why I was seeing and experiencing this, at this time of my life.
The first trimester is like that of the maiden. 
In early days of life. 
Full of hope and potential.
The Excitement and anticipation of what to come, even though the pregnancy is still so young and not clearly defined or certain. Sadly, for me in the past, there have been times pregnancies have ended in its “Maidenhood” or “first trimester”.

In the sight, the young maidens figure being young and undefined represented the yet unnoticeable “Bump” of pregnancy.
The secretive potential and what lies deeply hidden within.
Her hair free and unbound representing the freedom of fertility, seduction and allure. Unfettered in her potential.
The second trimester is like the Mother.
Finally showing a rounded belly, glowing (if you’re fortunate enough to be one of the lucky women that do glow in the second trimester), with her heavy breasts representing mothering and nurture.
Her busy hands and hair braided away from her face suggestive of the productively busy phase that most pregnant women go through… “Nesting”.
Preparing the home space and cot; the buying of clothes and frantically cleaning. Maybe even making baby clothes or other lovingly crafted items.
And finally the third trimester.
The one I am in now as I write this. It is therefore no wonder that this guise of the Goddess spoke to me most of all.
The Crone, for me, represented the slower and longer days of pregnancy.
Where mothers naturally begin to slow down and retreat within to physically, emotionally and even spiritually prepare for what is to come.
The experience of frustration, the desperate anticipation for pregnancy to be over so you can meet your baby! 
From a spiritual standpoint, if one believes in reincarnation, the Crone could stand watch over two transitions.
Firstly, the death of one person and the subsequent rebirth and reincarnation to their new mother.
Secondly, the transition and personal growth every woman experiences when becoming a mother. Be that for the first or fifth time!
From a personal point, the Crone aspect of the Goddess could well be preparing me to pass from one phase into the next.
Readying me to pass from being a mother of one, into being a mother of two and so starting a new chapter in life.
It intrigued me how the three aspects of the Goddess in Neo paganism could also be likened to the three trimesters of pregnancy.
It made me wonder how many other pregnant mothers had made this connection and why I had noticed it in this pregnancy, and not with my first child’s?
 Was it perhaps because I was having this enforced period of rest? And therefore had more time to reflect? 
Or was it just that I was now ready for this lesson in life and that mentally and spiritually I was more open to it.
 Either way, it is something I plan to reflect more on. I may perhaps even work to tune into these revelations more deeply should I ever have any more children.
Perhaps the Goddess has yet more to share on her triple form and the magick of pregnancy. If she does, I’ll share what I can

myself with my two daughters